With animals comes a wide array of other things that are inevitable. Baby animals, broken fences, feed bills, vet visits, funny animal antics, and sadly, death.
When you care for these animals on a daily basis, watch them give birth, watch them grow from babies into adults, set in the mud with them when they are struggling, nurse them back to health, feed them, give them bath's, walk with them, and yes even talk to them you get very attached.
One day something happens. The tables turn and you have to make the choice whether to allow them to suffer or whether to use them for the purpose they were intended for and use them to feed your family.
This choice is always very hard for me regardless of the situation. I never find it easier. Whenever it happens I find I grieve just as if I had lost a dear friend. Memories are shared with these animals. I have watched my granddaughter love them and play with them. I have watched myself grow and flourish with them. They become a part of who you are, what you stand for, all you believe in. They become a part of your dreams and hopes for your everyday life.
I have heard people say how they just don't see how I can shed a tear over a pig, a goat, a chicken, or one of the other animals on our farm. For me, I don't see how someone couldn't shed one.
Needless to say I have shed a lot of tears today. Morgan and I had to make the hard decision to let one of your babies go to the butcher shop. She had piglets a few months back and had a hard time rebounding from it. We finally got her over that hump and she got a cut on her foot. We had a hard time getting it healed up. Lastly, she prolapsed. We agonized over the decision and rested on the fact that rather than allow her to suffer we would do what was right, not only for her but for our family as well.
Tonight, when I got home from work Morgan loaded Bertha into the pig trailer and took her to the butcher shop. I have cried so many tears today that it seems like my eyes should have nothing left to cry.
I am grateful for Bertha. I am thankful for the laughs and love she gave. I am thankful for the joy she brought my granddaughter. I appreciate all that she has been to me. I am thankful that her piglets are outside and that she will live on through them on our farm. I am thankful for the pictures I have in my memories of her frolicking in the pasture as she free ranged, of her giving birth to the piglets, of the laughs my family got when she had her piglets and I was brave enough to get in the pen with her and she chased me out over the fence....I never new a fat girl could move that fast...but her and I were both at top speed.
The animals here on the homestead bring so much more with them than just the thought of food. They each have a personality. They each share special things with you. They know when you aren't feeling well. They are happy to see you regardless of what your hair looks like or if you have make-up on. Animals aren't judgmental like we humans are (unless, of course, it is a mother pig that just gave birth to babies...she was a little judgmental that day)
They mean so much more than just food on the table. This is one of the reasons I love homesteading. There is no disconnect with the food on my table. I know how they lived. I know what they ate. I know how they loved. I know how they spent their time. I know that they enjoyed their life. I know that they had a good life here on the farm. I know they had human interaction and weren't stuck in a pen with a million other animals just being fed out and shipped off to a lonely feed/stock yard. I know what medicines went into their body. I know what joy they brought people and the other animals on the farm.
For in everything there is beauty....even in a pig.
Forever be Ms. Bertha. Thank you for giving all that you did to our family.
