Have you ever gotten out of bed one morning and thought how did I get here? Have you ever wondered how you manged to get so off balance that life was passing you by without you even realizing your dreams and hopes had been derailed somewhere down the line and you don't even remember when or where?
I woke up yesterday morning feeling that exact way. I looked around and wondered what the heck happened. I had a dream. Somewhere I lost it. So, I have searched my heart and mind the last 24 hours and tried to figure out where things went wayward. Truth be told I was never able to figure out exactly where they veered from the plan. I just know they did. They got lost in the shuffle. A shuffle I didn't even realize was happening.
So this morning, after some doctor's appointments and some rather unsettling news, I have decide to regroup and get back to where I intended to be. Refocus on the dream. Reestablish what the dream truly is, and make a plan to get back to where I need (and want) to be.
I think focus is a huge problem for so many of us because we are use to living in a time where so much has to be crammed into so little. We want small cell phones that act like huge computers. We want large houses that have small house payments. We want cars that interact with our cell phones, that drive themselves, that beep when we are about to hit something.
We want everything bigger. Better, More User friendly.
I remember a time when I left the house and never had to worry about someone calling me. In fact, I actually remember my mother turning off the ringer on the phone that hung on the wall. I remember setting outside drinking Kool-aid because we didn't have all the soda water, bottle water, iced coffee, energy drinks that we had now. In fact, you were pretty certain to remind your mother to get sugar for the Kool-aid at the store so you didn't have to drink it bitter.
I am not certain why I, personally, veered from a more simple lifestyle after my teen years. It wasn't an extreme simple. We bought groceries at the store, we had a new car, but we played outside, mom made my clothes, and things of that nature.
5 years ago I decided I wanted to go even more simple than the lifestyle of my growing up years. I worked hard at it and got our homestead started. This last year, I opened our resale shop in a town 30 miles away. Since then I have spent more time away from home, more money than I made, and haven't managed to get ahead at all.
Yes, the store has been fun. I have enjoyed meeting new people, learning, painting, and being away from home. BUT, I lost the dream I had 6 years ago. I was diagnosed with Diabetes, have had to start taking more medication (we started eating processed foods again and I am SURE that had something to do with it). Instead of getting a few pieces of furniture and redoing them at a time and selling them in the Facebook groups, at the trade days, or using them in my home, I opened a store. Now, after a year, I am in the process of having to reassess what I really wanted and I realize that I miss being home canning foods, working in the garden, blogging, cleaning, reading, researching plants, and doing all those things.
It wasn't a failure. Some people might feel that way. For me, it was a chance to meet new people, learn new things, and to help me realize what TRULY is important to me. I am thankful that I was able to have the store but I am also grateful that I know its time to go back to the simpler things. It will be several months before I close the store down as we have events that will be happening, however, it is in my plan to do so. I want to spend my summer working in the garden, canning, and doing those things that captivate my heart.
I am a planning kind of person so I will have to set down and write out all my goals and plans for the next couple of years. My plan is to share them here and really get back to the root of my heart.
When things happen and you realize that somehow, somewhere, you got off track just plow a new track back to where you want to be. Life is a journey not a destination. If stopping to learn something new isn't in the plan but happens, learn from it, appreciate it for what it is, and move forward with what your heart really desires.
Happy Homesteading!
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