I'd done a lot of things different.

I have had an ongoing conversation with myself today about life. Life in general, life in reality, life in dreams.

How I anticipated, at the age of 15, what life would be like. How it was at 21 and how different I figured it would be. How 30 seemed to be the limit of how long I wanted to live. How life at 44 is certainly not as I planned it out to be. 

The truth is that my life, today, is nothing like I had ever planned it to be. There were lots of chances I took that I look back and wonder "What was I thinking". There are lots of chances I didn't take and I have some regrets over the way things turned out.

My plans were much different in high school than they are now. I planned on being single, having a law degree, living in a big city,  childless, and doing whatever I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. I was going to advocate for women and children.

In reality, I am not a lawyer, am married, have 3 children of my own, 2 step children, 3 grandchildren, and live on a farm.The only advocating I do is why bedtime needs to be 30 minutes earlier. I am not convincing a judge but rather trying to convince kids and grand-kids that they need more sleep. (For the record, convincing a judge would be much easier.)

I slop around in mud with pigs and goats who are trying to have little ones. I get dirt under my fingernails working in the garden. I mow my own yard. I try to cuddle with my chickens. I have a trailer house..a far cry from the large house I had planned. 

When I look back at my life, although I do have regrets and often wonder where my dreams went, I cannot imagine life any different than the way it is right at this moment. I can't imagine waking up and getting in my truck without chickens under my feet waiting to see if I brought out a treat. I cannot imagine life without a baby goat in front of the wood stove in the winter. I cannot imagine life without noisy screaming pigs in the pasture waiting to see if they can have an extra bucket of feed. I cannot imagine life without my grand-kids calling my name.

I set tonight and wonder how many of my friends find their lives to be exactly what they TRULY wanted instead of what they THOUGHT they wanted. 

Today I am so very thankful that God knew what I wanted and provided that over the dream I thought was perfect for me.

God's Grammar Rules: 

1. Never put a period where God puts a comma. 

2. Never put a comma where God puts a period! 

Joanna Weaver